For a long time (about a year) I avoided saying anything personal on the internet, even paying attention to captions on photographs – dare they be too emotional or revealing.
While I realise that there are boundaries to what we share online, I found that both my writing and confidence had dried up. I love writing. I love it more than I enjoy doing anything else. Last week, I decluttered my bedroom and found my old journals. Diaries that I’d lovingly written and kept since 1998. I paged and cringed and giggled through them and my heart burned to write again. To translate my heart within the framework of words again. To whisper those tiny secrets to paper again.
So I bought a journal, I opened this blog again… and I’ve decided to set boundaries. There are so many brilliant writers/bloggers in South Africa and beyond. Our favourite posts are never really the travel ones, or the recipes and how-to lists. My favourite bloggers are the ones who share their feelings and experiences with me. The ones who make me laugh with their candid, unapologetic honesty. That’s what I want to read. That’s what I want to write about.
Both my children can read now, and both have intermittent access to the internet. While it’s controlled access, I can’t guarantee that they won’t ever google me (or themselves) and find my blog. There are so many letters on here that I’ve written to them and sung their praises. I fear their tiny egos would never recover, so let’s hope that they don’t find them just yet. Either way –
I would never (and have never) written about my children’s private lives. I would never write anything negative about their dad (I save this information for lengthy whatsapps to him personally, when he annoys me). I would never write about anything that my kids don’t know about or don’t fully understand. It would feel like a form of betrayal, so I’m just not comfortable with it.
I would never write about anything that I don’t completely understand. Like… anything to do with geography, the solar system, bitcoin… or love.
But I’m here to share stories. Real ones. I’m here to talk about the issues that we all grapple with. I’m not an expert (on literally anything) but I’d like to talk about how I do, feel and see things – personally. So anyway… Let’s chat.